My Mattress.

Today I have a post. Maybe no one will read it, perhaps that’s best.
I sleep on a mattress, on the floor, in a room full of stuff I don’t really need, in someone else’s house. Some days I am quite content sleeping on the floor, it reminds me of nights spent camping in the summer and nights spent talking about everything and nothing with a friend. Most days, its just a mattress on the floor. But the thing is, take this mattress, and put it and me somewhere else, in a different place, in Rome, in Amsterdam, in Berlin, in New York, in Nepal, in Dublin then that’s when it’s different. I’d relish the chance to sleep on this mattress, if I were there. In Italy I woke up thinking, ‘holy shit, I’m in Italy’. I want to feel that again. To be totally in awe of a place that it all I can do is stare and forget to take my photographs. If I could visit everywhere twice I would. The first time I would just sit, walk, stare and take it all in.  And the second time, I’d remember I have my camera in my bag. Sometimes, when I’m walking down the street I can imagine the streets in Venice or Rome and take myself out of here and transport myself back there. I don’t know if it’s normal to have  this much craving to see places, sometimes I feel like I may burst from wanting it so bad. I know far too well that people don’t always get to do what they want, time runs out and creeps up on you, whether you’re 85 or even 35,  time can be taken from you. I guess that’s why I want to do everything now, I’m scared of not being able to do it at all.
I have my family, friends, a job, I have somewhere to sleep, I have someone I love, and I have the want to do these things. Despite everything I have just written, I must appreciate the here and now and especially my mattress, because Jesus Christ, sometimes that’s all you get.

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